pain

“Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being, and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.”  ~World Health Organization, 1948

I think my tendency to overwork and overthink things coupled with denial is taking its physical and emotional toll on me.  I keep telling myself that it doesn’t matter, it doesn’t bother me, and just go on with my day when the truth is that I am bothered and it does matter.  I am so physically and mentally exhausted that I think I am actually starting to physically get sick.

I really wish there was a boulder sized rock I could hide under for the time being.

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The world is my oyster

“The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page.”

– St. Augustine

GUESS WHO’S GOING ON VACATION =).  You know how you make those lists of things you will do but find yourself never having the time to follow through.  This is especially true when you find yourself in the rut of daily adult life.  Since I was in college I always told myself that I would go to Europe, travel the world, etc.  College passed and I found myself working full time and too busy being an adult to realize my life was passing by. Between working, thinking about grad school, planning for grad school, I could never find the time to even consider traveling.  Then what do you know, my friend goes out of her way to San Diego to hang out with me and before you know it we are planning a trip to see Europe.  We both individually wanted to go but didn’t want to go to Europe alone so why not go together.

Well my bosses gave me the OK and I am finally going to Europe for 3-4 WEEKS in a couple months. Now I can finally get to the logistics =)

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disappointment

“There will be little rubs and disappointments everywhere, and we are all apt to expect too much; but then, if one scheme of happiness fails, human nature turns to another; if the first calculation is wrong, we make a second better: we find comfort somewhere.”

Jane Austen “Mansfield Park”

Disappointment leads to no future expectations, welcome to the definition of my family.  I have come to not expect celebrations or anything from them because to be honest the last time I did I got highly disappointed again again, and again.  Disappointment was the definition of my childhood and is a major factor in my adult personality. Thank you family for being so damn dysfunctional. Thank you.

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major changes need to made

“Make your own recovery the first priority in your life”

Robin Norwood


After the plethora of pictures from my wonderful friend Christine’s wedding I have come to the realization that i have indeed let myself go.  I have gone and made myself fat, not chubby, not a little heavy, but full on fat, I am now the fat friend  and I am at the heaviest I have ever been in my life.  NO this is not the oh boo hoo me, just me being real with the most important person in my world: myself. I actually have  a healthy level of confidence but I am just as blunt with myself as I am others.   So the first order of business now that this wedding business is over with is to lose all that weight that 2.5 years of being in San Diego has caused me to gain.  I know the causes of the weight gain are that my level activity took a nosedive when I came back, I went from gym in the morning plus walking galore followed by  the occasional night kickboxing class to a whole lot of sitting.  Sitting at home, sitting at my job, sitting on the bus, just sitting oh and then sleeping, I can’t forget that sleeping even though I get so very little of it.    I actually eat pretty healthier than I did in the past so the route of this evil is all that damn sitting.  So given my brother sticks to his word ( a rarity I might add) I am going to begin running with my brother on monday.  Also I am going to make a gym membership at 24 hours and shell out the extra cash for that damn personal trainer (just so I learn not to hurt myself on those darn machines).  This will be step one of Cheryl’s need for major changes.

Changes need to be made in my life:

1) Begin new diet and workout plan

2)Get that damn liscense so I can complete #3

3) Get myself an apartment

4) Find a new job that actually has me doing experiments because that way I am not bored and I am not freaking sitting..

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i am just that kind of person

I am the kind of person that can cut ties and never look back, the sad thing is that I am dead serious.  If I sound like a bitch, the fact is I am. I am not unnecessarily mean but if you are looking for someone to sugarcoat things don’t come to me, because I will give it to you straight.  I am blunt, honest, and there are many things I do not like in the world.  If you are looking for someone to put on a happy face, that is not me.

I agree with Arizona’s bill and I agree that english should be the national language. While I am open to others opinions and respect them as such, they will not change mines just like I do not expect to change theirs.

I am just that kind of person.

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freedom

So apparently some UCSD students thought it was a bright idea to have “compton themed party” to celebrate black history month.  So of course many students got offended, no surprise there, however just how big this story is getting is a bit ridiculous.  First of all this party was held off campus at some guys apartment, yes they are frat boys, but this wasn’t at a frat and this is what many people forget.  People have the right to be offended but as long as it is off campus the school and other people have no right to tell what people can and cannot do on their own time if its not breaking any laws. I am sorry but the thing about this wonderful thing called freedom is that we have the freedom to be stupid sometimes even if it pisses off someone just like I have the right to yell at someone and call them a dumbass in a public area, it may not be nice but its my right.  Frankly if I wanted to yell every racial slur on the planet in my apartment, guess what I HAVE THE FUCKING RIGHT TO DO SO, whether someone likes it or not, I would never do this but that is not the point, the point is that I have the freedom and right to have those opinions.  As long as it isn’t breaking the law we have no right to tell what others should do and not do in the privacy of their own home. Frankly I am tired of everyone pulling the race card the minute someone steps on their toes, I am sorry people but there are definitely racial issues at places like UCSD that need to be addressed but to be honest this event is really trivial in the grand scheme of things.  To be honest these guys probably wanted to throw a “gangster” party for a while and thought black history month would tie to the theme, stupid yes, but these are frat guys we are talking about, yes there are frat guys that are smart but there are many who aren’t the sharpest tools in the shed.  I wouldn’t be surprised that while this was racist, that these guys didn’t have malicious intent like people are saying.  Many of us tend to forget that california is very different than other places and that people from other states, especially states that are predominantly white, don’t really know much about black history and what they think about minority people is what you see on tv in music and probably do not fully understand what black history month is all about. Some people are ignorant and some people are stupid.  I went to a school where you were either filipino/mexican/ or black so I understand why this offends people but not everyone grew up the way I did. I am not going to lie, I have had said some pretty harsh opinions in regards to certain races in the privacy of my own home after some bad experiences even with the background I am.  I am bi-racial white/filpino but I will not lie and say that I do not  have some strong opinions about both the filipino and mexican races after living in San Diego and being raised with filipinos my whole life followed by many bad experiences with both of these races, will some of my opinions offend people, defiinitely but I have the common sense to keep these to myself, these guys lack this common sense.

Everyone has a right to their opinion because it is THEIR OPINION, you do not have to agree with their opinion but at the end of the day it is their opinion and in a country like America we shouldn’t be scared to voice our opinion.  People are going to offend people that is a fact because you cannot make everyone happy.  Just like you are free to disagree with my views, I am free to have those views in the first place.

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NYC tidbits

“The city of right angles and tough, damaged people.”-Pete Hamill
I think next time I will just book a hotel..
Tips to being a good friend.
1)Being the third wheel repeatedly is never comfortable, NEVER.
2) Inviting your friends to come along and then leaving them hanging in a city they are unfamiliar with at 3am. Not cool…not cool at all.

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